well well its been a while. I have to admit I had a slight lack of motivation and hit a derby speed bump. I felt unmotivated to go to training, I was very hungover, and then very sick for 2 weeks and then very hungover again and felt I was not progressing and my stupid injury was still not fully better and this was frustrating me, like stopping me from using my leg to its full potential, weak, weak grrrrr.

Previously I would have just gone and "skated it out" and all was well again. But I began to feel low and unmotivated and this scared me that the one thing in my life that gave me so much wasn't doing it for me. I think it was to do with a few personal issues/thoughts I had putting me off. Which in hindsight is stupid. But I can get things in my head and mull and stew over them.

But I found this quote the other day which resonated with me:

"The sport is the sport. It's neutral. There's skills to improve on, you get better at them. There's strategies to work out, you get used to them. It's the relationships with people, and yourself, that make or break you" Bonnie D Stroir. 

This women is amazing you can check her out here http://bonniedstroir.blogspot.co.nz/2012_09_01_archive.html

And when you finally are able to start your roller derby adventure/lifestyle/addiction, when you are feeling low or high or just plain challenged or you cant go for a skate cause its night time and want to read about and watch skating, look her up! she will guide you....like an attractively strong, impressive Yoda on skates.

So yes its the relationships with people and YOURSELF that make or break you. My relationship with myself is an interesting one. One that is sometimes filled with self pity, loathing, overeating, crying and moping. Then at other times gleeful, amping, laughing, clowning around and gratitude and sheer power of self.

The relationships with others is one that in my life has been fraught with allsorts too, nom nom. But I am learning to close my mouth, and wait before I say anything, to learn to let people process as they need to process, and to allow for their own ways of dealing with and showing their opinions and emotions. I have noticed this twice on 2 major things in our league where I have been able to give my opinion strongly, but have then been able to let it go and realise I don't have to have the say in the decision for it to be a good one to trust others and the process. And with success it worked out without me having to get all grrrrrrr. So much learning in derby.

So on the up.....I had the awesome experience of coaching our team. Our coach was going to be away so I volunteered. Not sure why I piped up,  as I had previously been meh about helping with coaching our new intake.  Im a little bit on the "you got to know everything yourself before you try telling others what to do" or "you cant have the awesome Antik skates when you are a freshie" or "you got to earn a derby name before you can have one" type of stickler person. Which usually only ends up doing me in cause someone else with the "I dont give a shit, woop woop" attitude will end up with the awesome Antiks and Ill just be jealous. So Im learning to not be so "too cool for school" too cause really I am the only one who misses out.

Anywhoo so got asked to coach again last night and decided to work those laydees and gent hard! Was awesome seeing them shooting me daggers and rolling their eyes at the hard or boring tedious drills hehehe. I think if I can do it, hell they can! being the unfit, giverupery type.

So great experience, lifted my spirits and B.ADDY is back. boom

Oooh also Houston we have website....shame ow......haha kidding WORD ILL! WRDL

http://www.wrdl.co.nz/#!home/mainPage